Harley and Joker's secret sex life
by GACLuvr666
Summary: A collection of oneshots on Harley and Joker's sexual relationship (From Batman adventures) (20 in total) CAUTION: If there are any sensitive readers then please DO NOT READ
1. Chapter 1

The Joker sat in his study trying to concoct yet another plan on how to destroy the Batman so he could take over Gotham once and for all. His peace and quiet was short lived when a familiar voice called from the doorway sending a chill down his spine.

"Puddin!" Harley cried running into the room wearing a black thigh length lingerie nightgown with black lace on the hem and chest area. It had a V front and thin black straps.

As she leapt into his arms he pushed her onto the floor crossly "WHAT THE HELL HARLEY I'M WORKING!" he seethed angrily.

"Sorry Puddin I just wanted to have some fun" she said nervously.

"Can't you see I'm busy you useless bitch now GET OUT!" He snapped venomously to which she ran out as fast as her legs could carry her.

The Joker got back to his blueprints but the image of Harley in that raunchy number clouded his mind to which he slapped his face angrily "DAMN IT!" he yelled. He sat there for a good 20 minutes and then made his way to their room.

**_In Bedroom_**

Harley was curled up on the bed wrapped in a blanket her face buried in a pillow " MISTAH-J YOU STUPID JERK!" she raged angrily tears spilling over.

"Who are you calling a STUPID JERK!" an icy voice said from the doorway but she didn't face him she was still sulking.

"What do you want aint ya busy working on another scheme?" Harley said sulkily.

"I was that was until you bounded into my office in that cute little red number" he chuckled deviously.

Harley blushed covering her face "Y...You mean it Puddin" She said shyly gazing at him but didn't get up.

The Joker smiled "I never lie about you Pumpkin Pie your too cute" He chuckled.

Harley sat up but still covered herself up nervously in case he was mad still mad at her "So..what did you want?" she said nervously.

The Joker frowned crossly "Harley why are you wearing that blanket?" he asked irritably.

Harley wriggled awkwardly "So I don't look like a slut or distracting" she said nervously.

The Joker almost died laughing "Oh Harley how are you in any way like a slut or a hooker?!".

Harley twiddled her fingers nervously "I dunno Puddin I just feel that way sometimes when you throw me about the way you do" she said quietly.

The Joker got onto the bed with her and pulled her into his embrace shocking her "Harley you daft thing as if I could compare you to those cock crazed whores you find on a street corner" he chuckled.

"You mean it Puddin!" she cried happily her eyes shining.

"BELIEVE me Harley I've seen those kind of women they're not even worth the money their paid however YOU my dear have way more class" he said tickling her chin.

Harley felt a little better but was taken aback when the Joker grabbed her blanket "P...Puddin what are you...?" she said nervously.

"Daddy wants to see your goodies Harley" He said deviously licking his lips and pulled it down revealing her slender figure much to his delight. He smirked mischievously admiring his prize "Harley baby you sure are amazing on the eyes".

Harley blushed placing her hands on her lap shyly. She had her natural make-up on with no black and white clown face make-up (for once) and her hair in the usual 2 bunches. Her cheeks were flushed red from embarrassment "Would you quit staring I feel so NAKED!" Harley cried wrapping her arms around herself.

The Joker got up and removed his bowtie and purple jacket throwing them onto the floor with ease then unbuttoned his shirt flashing his toned yet muscular chest. He slipped off his gloves with his teeth sending shivers down Harley's spine making her excited and he could tell.

"Puddin your so toned do you work out?" she said in awe unable to believe she had never noticed before.

"The Joker grinned "Thank the many years working for the Mafia it was always quite the workout I'll tell ya" he chuckled.

Feeling that it was unfair to allow him to do all the work Harley undid his button them pulled his zip down with his teeth until he was wearing nothing but his boxers.

The Joker was impressed "Harley how did you get so damn seductive?" He chuckled.

"Well I've seen all the cute young Physicians at Arkham look your way so I decided to take matters into my own hands" she said smiling mischievously.

The Joker chuckled "Remind me never to mess with you when your jealous".

Harley smiled "Got that right Puddin" she giggled.

She then pushed the Joker onto his back and pulled down his boxers and began to suck his penis like a lollypop. It was her own little treasure and it always tasted so damn good she just couldn't get enough.

"Damn Harley you really were eager weren't you?" The Joker moaned pleasantly enjoying her licks on the tip of his penis and her thorough sucking. Eventually he came into her mouth and she swallowed every drop obediently and licked her lips pleasing him greatly.

"My turn now Puddin" She giggled and sat herself above the Joker on her knee's a naughty twinkle in her eyes.

The Joker smirked he knew EXACTLY what she wanted so he swiftly pulled down her black lace panties and tossed them to the floor with ease "Jesus Harley you pussy is so gorgeous and I bet you masturbate a lot too right?" he chuckled.

Harley blushed "Well thinking about you naked and how handsome you are makes me excited Puddin" she said shyly her cheeks flushed red yet again.

"What can I say I'm a charming fellow" He chuckled and began fingering Harley's pussy deeply making her moan and become wet. He decided to have some fun with this "Harley I must say you're getting wet awfully fast were you having another naughty fantasy" he teased.

"N...No Mistah-J your fingers just feel so good" she panted lustfully her nipples getting hard and erect.

The Joker pulled out his fingers and licked them "My you taste good Harley your taste is beyond average its practically a delicacy" he chuckled.

"T...Thanks Puddin" Harley moaned enjoying her lovers touch and just when she thought about coming he stopped.

The Joker got up and Harley fell to his waist in shock and grabbed his around the neck and blushed "Ok Harls it's time to get serious" He chuckled.

Harley lowered herself onto the Joker's penis and then cried out lustfully as it entered inside her. It felt SOOO good inside her favourite item in the whole world; she began pounding up and down on it her arms around the Joker's neck.

"Like that Harley-girl?" He chuckled his eyes shining and his white teeth gleaming like knives.

"Oh Yes Mistah-J I love it soooo much" she moaned moving faster and faster.

"Jesus Harley...I...I'm gonna cum!" he yelled and squirted a load inside Harley's pussy to which she thanked Christ she was on the pill.

Afterward Harley collapsed onto her side panting like crazy worn out from their ordeal.

"Have fun Pumpkin?" The Joker cooed kissing her neck.

Harley smiled "Of course" she said kissing him back lovingly.


	2. C2: Harlequin tease

Harley entered the Joker's study obediently after he had called her earlier she was unsure of why because she hadn't bothered him all day. She had done the dishes, cleaned the hideout and even fed the hyena's so why would he ask for her. She knocked on his study door gently and awaited a response.

"Come in" The Joker said in a stern tone but he sounded calm so that meant he wasn't mad.

Harley came in feeling nervous "P...Puddin did I do something wrong? Coz if I did I'm real sorry" she said nervously.

The Joker stared at her for a second then burst out laughing "Harley you ninny! you aren't in trouble" he chuckled.

Harley blinked "Then what did you call me down for?" she asked confused.

The Joker flung a box at her which landed at her feet "Put this on and then come back once your done...Oh and take off your make up and remove your pigtails restyle it into a bun like you used to at Arkham" he said smirking.

Harley picked up the box "Um sure ok boss" she said and left to their bedroom to change.

**_15 minutes later_**

"Um...Puddin" Harley said nervously from behind the door.

"Hmm?" the Joker said his chair turned away.

"I...I'm all done" she said shyly.

The Joker turned around to reveal a white doctors coat but with his suit underneath. He eyed Harley up and down to which a large grin spread across his face "My, My Harley you look delicious" he chuckled.

Harley was wearing a short thigh length nurse's dress with short sleeves and a pair of white high heels. She had removed her clown make-up and changed it to some black mascara and red lipstick with a hint of blusher. Her hair was tied into a tight bun like she used to before she joined the Joker and atop her head was a white nurses cap.

"Y...You like it Puddin" she said shyly.

"Absolutely you look a million bucks kiddo" he said satisfied with his purchase from the sex store that day. He had also purchased some rather nice looking toys too but they were hidden in his drawer.

Harley's face turned a gentle red colour in her cheeks she didn't mind getting dressed up but it was the way The Joker was ogling her it made her feel as though she were naked "P...Please Puddin don't stare at me so" she said shyly.

The Joker frowned "Is that an ORDER or a request Harls?" he said sharply.

"N...No it's just I feel so naked when you do" she said worriedly in case he was mad.

The Joker stared at her and tapped his finger on his desk impatiently awaiting an apology for her backtalk.

Harley bowed her head "Sorry Mistah-J I won't talk back again" she said apologetically.

The Joker smiled "Good girl always remember your place" he said pleased and then gestured with his index finger to approach.

Harley took a deep breath and walked over to the Joker's desk shakily and stood beside his chair to which The Joker grabbed her waist and pulled her onto his lap taking her by surprise.

Harley grabbed The Joker's waist jacket tightly to prevent herself from slipping then pulled away shyly after realizing what she had done.

The Joker raised an eyebrow looking confused "Harley why did you pull away?" he asked.

"W...Well I thought I may have annoyed you by getting all clingy" she said nervously.

"Well I would usually but I don't mind right now" He confessed then held her close to his chest.

Harley blushed and enjoyed his warmth "Puddin" she said lovingly in a soft voice closing her eyes listening to his heartbeat. Suddenly her eyes snapped open as she realized he was starting to grope her boobs.

"My Harley your boobs are so soft and plump you REALLY take care of these babies" He teased squeezing and caressing them then would occasionally flick or squeeze her nipples.

Harley's face turned red and she began to moan softly her voice getting louder "P...Puddin...Oh...good...Mm...yeah" she moaned lustfully.

"You like that Harley girl?" he asked in a teasing manner moving his hands a little faster making her moan louder.

"Y...Yes Mistah-J...Oh...mmm yeah" she cried loudly.

The Joker opened his desk drawer with one hand and produced a scalpel to which Harley's eyes widened with fear "P...Puddin what's that for?" she said beginning to panic making her pussy tighter.

"I thought we could make this more exciting" he said in a superior tone and slowly cut the material of her dress to her diaphragm flashing her red lace bra "Ooo red like your suit" he chuckled nibbling her ear.

"I...It's my favourite one" Harley panted trying to stifle her moans.

The Joker unhooked the front allowing her breasts to be freed and bounce around more "Harley these are so amazing I can see why you were so popular in Arkham with the male doctors with these bad boys" he chuckled and grabbed them tightly.

Harley groaned loudly enjoying his touch on her soft skin it felt so much better than just through material. It didn't feel as good that way to her skin to skin contact felt better.

"If these are so fucking sensitive I wonder what down here is like" he said and stroked her pussy through her panties.

Harley jolted as he touched her panties she didn't want him to know she had gotten so wet but it was too late.

"What's this your all wet down here what a dirty minx you are Harley" he jeered as the young blonde shivered with pleasure.

"J please...please don't tease me so!" she begged her whole body burning as she began to feel better and better with his touch.

"You love it" he growled turning her head and slamming her lips onto his passionately. While she was distracted by the kiss he gently pulled out her bun so her long blonde hair fell to her shoulders then got rid of the nurse's cap.

**_a few minutes later_**

Harley lay on the Joker's desk her hands bound above her head with a scarf and pinned down by a knife so she couldn't move making her helpless...just the way The Joker liked it.

"Now let's see how your pussy is Harley girl" he sniggered and pulled down her red lace panties despite her struggle to keep them on.

"NO MISTAH-J DON'T LOOK!" She begged animosity overwhelming her. She couldn't bear for her to see how slutty she was he would only tease her further.

"HOO WHEE HARLS!" The Joker whistled impressed at what he saw bending down to look at her crotch.

Harley felt her face burning she knew she was soaking wet she had felt it through her panties as he had been groping her breasts so much.

The Joker opened her pussy spreading it apart "Your soaking wet your juices are practically flowing out...I thought my trousers were getting wet" he teased his eyes shining deviously.

Harley looked away shamefully she would never live this down he would most likely talk about this with 2 face when he was gambling with him in the future.

The Joker stuck a finger in Harley's pussy to which she jolted and moaned louder "OH MY GOD!" she shrieked.

The Joker pulled out his finger "So wet I don't remember raising such a slutty Harlequin" he teased catching Harley's eye.

"Please...Please don't hate me...It's just coz you make me feel so good" she begged fearfully.

"That's what I like to hear" The Joker said patting her head pleased at her response then licked her juices from his finger his grin growing bigger.

Harley closed her eyes and took a deep breath "Fuck me" she said quietly.

"What did you say Harls?" The Joker said darkly his grin falling into a frown.

Harley clenched her bound fists "Please Puddin...FUCK ME!" she begged her body trembling.

The Joker grabbed her cheeks furiously his eyes filled with rage "NEVER give me orders you useless WHORE you understand?!" The Joker said darkly tightening his grip on her face.

"I...I'm sorry" she wept apologetically.

The Joker smiled "Good girl the more you learn the more obedient you'll be" he said patting her head.

Harley lifted her legs up and opened them wide resting them on the desk so her pussy was open wider giving him a better view but she really felt like a whore now.

"My, My aren't we getting bold" The Joker taunted his grin wide flashing his white teeth.

"Y...You like my slutty pussy Puddin?" she asked nervously.

"I love it Harley it's all swollen and pink begging me to fuck it" he chuckled gazing at her pussy from his chair.

"Then why don't you take it for a spin? Watching it must be boring" Harley said moving her waist up and down seductively.

The Joker finally caved in and got to his feet and grabbed her legs tightly rubbing his cock against her pussy to get lubrication from her pussy juices "You ready baby?" he teased his eyes gleaming.

"Oh yes please fuck me hard...make me sore all over" she pleaded desperately.

"As you wish my dear" The Joker smirked and shoved his erect dick into Harley's pussy.

Harley cried out loudly as his erect member penetrated her soaking wet pussy it felt so GOOD inside her she NEEDED this so bad.

"You like it?" he whispered in her ear.

"Uh huh" Harley moaned panting heavily.

"Well my dear Harlequin things are about to get even better" he teased and began to pound her pussy like crazy.

"Oh...Mistah J...yes...yes just like that...mm yeah!" she moaned loudly her body filled with pleasure.

"Harley...my god...your pussy is so fucking tight!" The Joker moaned pounding in and out of her.

"Yes I know...Thinking about your cock made me excited" Harley sighed.

The Joker was impressed he never knew his little Harley was such a dirty minx behind the mask. He liked it so he opened his drawer and pulled out a vibrating anal toy.

"That...that is!" Harley cried in shock.

"Yes my dear an anal toy" The Joker said grinning widely and slid the anal toy into her ass and turned it on making her yelp as it buzzed in her ass "You like it?" he chuckled.

"Oh yes it feels so good I like its buzzing feeling in my ass" she moaned.

Eventually The Joker could feel himself coming so he pounded faster and pulled the anal toy harder in and out of Harley's ass making her cry out loudly "H...Harley I'm...I'm gonna cum" he cried loudly.

"Me too Puddin...Me too!" she cried loudly. The pair shrieked loudly as they climaxed together.

**_Afterwards_**

The Joker untied Harley and sat down in his chair and lit a cigarette "Harley that was the best fucking sex we've had in months" he chuckled.

Harley turned onto her side and got up slowly and untied her hands then gazed at her Joker fondly. She loved him SO much she just hoped he knew that deep down.

The Joker saw Harley gazing at him and then looked at her outfit and chuckled "Man Harley look at you well that was a good spend I'll say" he chuckled.

Harley looked down and turned red covering her chest as she remembered what had happened "S...Sorry" she mumbled quietly. Her hair was slightly messy and was loose reaching her shoulders, her uniform was torn down the front so it would have to be thrown out, her bra was still unhooked so it needed fastening and her panties were on the floor.

"C'mere pooh" he said softly to which she sat on his lap.

Harley looked up and saw his gentle expression to which she climbed off the desk and sat on his knee and wrapped her arms around his neck.

The Joker put his arms around Harley stroking her hair and the other around her waist. She was so soft and warm filled with joy and happiness no matter what. He LOVED this woman in his own sadistic and crazy way but hey it was still love.

"I...I liked that Puddin" she said softly holding him tightly.

"Me too Harls" he said as he thought about how good she had felt. He looked at her make-up she was truly a beautiful woman even though she looked like her old self but it was that look that had seduced him in the first place.

"Harleen" he said firmly using the name he hadn't spoken in years.

Harley looked at him "Yeah?" she asked worriedly he only ever used this when he was serious.

The Joker smiled and tilted her head up "I love you baby don't ever change" he said and kissed her lovingly.


	3. C3: Happy Easter Puddin!

The Joker sat at his desk crossly he was bored shitless since there were no plans to KILL the annoying caped crusader that plagued his life. Batman was apparently away on vacation so he there was no point in pulling a heist if bat rat wasn't there to fight him with Boy blunder or the new bat brat.

He poured himself a drink of whisky crossly and lit a cigar to help calm his nerves with his back faced towards the door. He needed alone time right now since he was basically considering kidnapping a random person and just making them wait for death after torturing them then kill them "Stupid bats why can't he just do his job properly instead of doing what HE wants" he muttered crossly.

Suddenly there was a knock on his door and Harley came skipping in "Puddin your Harley's come to play!" she cooed in a teasing voice. She wanted to make him happy since she KNEW he had been feeling like shit recently ever since Batman had left Gotham.

The Joker groaned he appreciated some of the ways Harley tried to cheer him up but often it just made him feel WORSE "Pooh Daddy isn't in a good mood right now so please go play with the boys" he said irritably by which he meant fuck off and play with the Hyena's.

Harley pouted sadly "Ok Puddin I just wanted to cheer you up since it is EASTER and all" she said putting emphasis on the Easter part. She turned to leave her heels clacking on his polished wooden floor as she did so.

The Joker's ears pricked HEELS she was wearing HEELS which was always a good sign to being kinky "Harley..." he said in a smooth voice.

"Yes Mistah-J?" she asked curiously turning her head but not turning around.

"Come back to my desk NOW but don't say a word" he said firmly.

Harley did as she was told and walked up to his desk the sound of her heels turning him on hugely. She stood at the edge of his desk shakily worried what he might do to her but she stood tall and held her ground after all she had put LOADS of effort into making him happy.

"Did you want to surprise daddy because I couldn't help but NOTICE your wearing heels" he said in a pleased tone.

Harley smiled "Sure did Puddin coz I know how pissed you are about Batsy running off on another holiday" she said kindly.

"Harley" The Joker said in a touched tone. This was one of her sweet moments but only guessed she had dressed in a cute lingerie nightgown again.

"I KNOW you wanna see it Puddin but you'll have to turn around" she giggled playfully.

The Joker chuckled Harley could always read his mind when he tried to play the tease. He turned his chair and his mouth dropped and her outfit nearly made him drool.

Harley had untied her hair but curled it so it fell to her shoulder in golden ringlets. She was wearing greyish silver eye shadow and red lipstick. She was wearing a black bunny ear headband atop her head. Her outfit consisted of a Bunny girl leotard but was custom made obviously it was so tight around her thin waist that her boobs slightly squeezed out of her outfit. It was half black and half red and she had a black collar with silver spikes around her neck with matching bracelets. On her legs were black fishnet tights and one red and one black high heel stiletto on each foot.

Harley saw his look and smirked then placed one hand on her hip and the other behind her head "Like what you see Puddin?" she teased winking seductively.

The Joker stared at her for a good 15 minutes then snapped out of his trance and smirked his eyes shining wickedly and rested his chin upon his hands as he leaned his elbows against his desk "Oh baby do I you've REALLY outdone yourself this time Harls" he sniggered eyeing her up and down.

"I told you it would cheer you up you should listen to me more often Puddin" she said enjoying the attention. They didn't have to worry about interruption as Rocco, Cur and Blair were all outs after she ordered them to go to the bar.

The Joker gestured for her to approach with his index finger to which she walked over seductively swaying her hips from side to side making his grin appear from under his smirk.

Harley sat on the edge of his desk in front of him placing her hands behind him and crossing her legs smiling seductively. She was enjoying playing the tease for once after all he did it enough when they were in bed.

The Joker was slightly peeved that she didn't sit on his lap but he simply decided to eye her up further after all this outfit REALLY complimented her slender waist and busty chest. And those legs were they always so SLENDER?!

Harley kicked her legs gently "I can see you like the view Puddin" she giggled.

"I sure do sweets but Daddy wants to taste your goodies not just enjoy the view" he said in a flirty yet firm tone.

Harley leaned forward so The Joker could see her chest clearly then got to her feet and smirked when she saw his faint blush "Ooo that's a first Puddin your blushing" she teased and kissed his cheek.

The Joker couldn't take any more teasing he pulled her onto his lap roughly taking her by surprise so she wrapped her arms around his neck pressing her boobs against his muscular chest. He reached up to touch them but was slapped on the hand by Harley "What the hell Harls?" he grumbled shaking his hand.

"Naughty naughty you can't touch this bunny yet clown" she teased her eyes shining mischievously. She was in truth taking advantage of this situation since he left her hanging when they were having sex or midway in an intense seduction moment to do other things.

The Joker moaned pleasantly as she turned to straddle him and pressed her crotch against his erect member. He WANTED her so badly the whole outfit was driving his libido insane.

Harley smirked and pretended to be cross "Oh my such a dirty boy you've gotten hard already" she teased and kissed him seductively.

The Joker wanted to touch her but KNEW if he tried she would slap him again so he stayed put guessing she would give him permission when he could. This dominant side of Harley was very sexy but he wouldn't want this ALL the time it would get violent if she tried to take charge when it came to more serious matters.

Harley then started stroking his crotch with her left hand "Oh so big and hard...you want me to touch it?" she teased whispering in his ear.

"God yes" she moaned heavily loving her teasing attitude why couldn't she do THIS in the bedroom.

Harley smirked "Ok then" she giggled and got to her knee's and unzipped his pants to which his huge member sprung up and jolted a little "It's so big..." she said fondling the top making The Joker's head arch back. Harley smirked and kissed the tip "...And so hard" she teased.

"Your quite the TEASE Harls but Daddy REALLY wants to have some fun now" he said smirking but his voice almost sounded like a beg.

Harley kissed him seductively "Sure thing Puddin" she said and pulled her boobs out from her costume and began to give him tit-fuck.

"OH HARLEY...JESUS!" The Joker moaned as her soft breasts rubbed against his erect penis.

"You like that Puddin" she said kissing his tip again.

"It's fucking awesome...Harley where did you LEARN this shit?" he asked panting heavily.

Harley smirked "I practiced on Bats once as a cock tease" she giggled.

The Joker smirked "Smart girl I bet you ran off leaving him a boner right?" he sniggered.

Harley licked his tip thoroughly then smirked "Nope I teased him like this then made fun of him coz he LIKED it" she laughed wildly.

The Joker was impressed "Nice one Harley you kicked him in the ego" he smirked.

Harley was pleased at being complimented and praised so much but KNEW it wouldn't last until they were fucking again "I learned from the best" Harley smiled her blue eyes shining.

The Joker suddenly grabbed Harley's head so she could swallow his cum to which she did and licked her lips afterwards "Taste good pooh?" The Joker said stroking her blonde curls.

"You bet" she said smiling her blue eyes twinkling.

She got to her feet and lay on her desk and opened her legs seductively and opened her arms "Come on Puddin taste your little Harley" she teased winking at him.

The Joker got up and removed his waist jacket, bowtie and undid his shirt but left it on. He grabbed Harley's legs tightly and groped her chest roughly "These tits Harls...I just CAN'T get over how great they are" he said lewdly.

"It's like you always say Puddin anything that is nurtured under your care is bound to have GREAT potential" she said fondly smiling lovingly.

The Joker stopped toying her breasts and kissed her deeply nibbling her lip "You know me SO well Harley that's why I love you" he said kissing her neck. He then pulled the crotch area of her outfit to the side in case they used this outfit again and was impressed to see a hole in the crotch area of her tights "Nice one Harls you planned ahead".

"I KNOW you too well Puddin" She giggled.

"Here I come" The Joker said firmly and pushed his way inside her making Harley moan "Baby lets rock this place" he cooed smirking.


	4. C4:Halloween Hell

The Joker was in a VERY good mood today after all it WAS Halloween a time of fear, Tricks and Treats. But not to mention screams, chaos and destruction he had a lot planned this year but he ALSO had Harley and was pretty sure she would do something special for him.

"Harley!" the Joker called firmly but not in an angry tone he was in one of his more agreeable tones today.

"Yes Mistah-J?" Harley cried as she ran in quickly a big smile on her face. She was just as excited as him Halloween was her fondest memory as a child but since she had a MAN in her life now she could be more creative.

"You know what TODAY is don't you Pooh?" he said smiling wickedly.

"I sure do Puddin today is October 31st or as we call it HALLOWEEN" She said a huge grin on her face.

"And today we are going to make Gotham celebrate…JOKER style" he said grinning widely with an evil twinkle in his eyes.

"Hooray! I will have to dress up real NICE for you today Puddin!" she squealed happily twirling about on her toes.

"That's my girl… he said gazing at her fondly. It was RARE to find a girl so DEVOTED to the Halloween season it made him happy.

"A-Okay Mistah-J I'll be ready soon you just get your toys ready!" she cooed and blew a kiss as she ran from the room excitedly.

_**In bedroom**_

Harley had washed off her usual clown make-up and removed her mask. Her Harlequin outfit was tossed over a chair with her headdress sitting on the cushion. She was going to clean herself up real nice for her Puddin tonight.

She grabbed her towel and ran into their bathroom quickly. Luckily their bedroom had an on suite bathroom so it would take a shorter period of time to get read "Mistah-J get ready coz your Harley is bringing out the BIG GUNS!" she giggled to herself.

_**Downstairs**_

The Joker was getting his weapons ready for the big night. His signature acid flower, his pistols, his razor sharp playing cards, his switchblade, laughing gas bombs and in the back of the car a missile gun that was filled with Joker venom and a bomb.

"This will be a night to remember" he chuckled his eyes gleaming at the thought of all those screams and cries as they perished under his steel fist.

_**15 minutes later**_

The Joker was loading the car with all their weapons and some bags and sacks for looting Jewels or money and maybe even both. Bud and Lou were coming as back-up in case Bat-rat, The Boy blunder and Bat brat showed up.

"Oh Puddin your Harley is done" she cooed flirtatiously from the doorway.

The Joker turned and his mouth dropped his heart nearly leapt out of his mouth and his libido was going insane. Harley REALLY had brought out the big guns tonight. Her outfit was way beyond his expectations in fact he barely recognized her but this was all thanks to his tender love and care that she had turned out so well.

She had her hammer over her shoulders and was holding it with her hands. For once her hair was tied back into a curly single ponytail instead of 2 bunches and was fastened with a reddish-black bow. She had a black hairband with 2 little silver metal horns on it brining out her naughty side. On her legs were a pair of black leather knee length high heeled boots and they hugged her legs so tightly. But of course the big masterpiece was her OUTFIT she had said she would dress her best for him and boy had she. The dress was a halter neck with a black front that ended at under her bust line with a V front that made her boobs bulge out a little. The skirt reached her upper thigh and was a deep royal red colour. She had a pair of red arm pieces to match that ended at her upper arms with a large frill at the end but was fastened with a small belt buckle at the top on each arm. Around her neck was a black leather collar with silver metallic spikes making her look badass. For make-up she had a little blush on her cheeks, black eye liner, reddish-black lipstick and black mascara even her nails were black.

She winked "Like my outfit Puddin?" she teased grinning widely. She had wanted to show him just how good she could look on Halloween.

"Harley…You looking AMAZING" he said walking towards her and touched her cheek gently. He wanted to APPRECIATE this outfit despite part of him wanting to throw her across her desk and pound her until she cried.

"I had it made ESPECIALLY for you Puddin" she said fondly her azure eyes twinkling.

The Joker walked to his car and opened slammed the boot shut "Come my sweet the night is OURS!"

Harley swung her hammer over her shoulder and whistled for Bud and Lou who leapt into the backseat cackling wildly "Good babies" she said rubbing their heads and then leapt into the front seat beside The Joker "Lets paint the town red Puddin" she said fondly.

"Yes ma'am" The Joker chuckled and revved the engine and sped off into the night.


	5. C5: Puddin Literally!

The Joker walked towards the Funnibone warehouse wearily he had been through a lot. His car was being repaired to which they would be without it for at least a week, they were low on cash until his next heist and it was HIS ANNIVERSARY with Harley but he couldn't afford a gift coz he was broke.

"Curl? Rocco? Where the hell are you guys?!" he yelled angrily.

Suddenly a few lights turned on and a banner hung from the windows with the words HAPPY 7th ANNIVERSARY in big red letters. A huge pie was set underneath the lights in a large silver dish with a creamy topping and a cherry.

The Joker blinked "Hmm...Pie well she must be hiding somewhere and made this for me" he thought to himself and was about to approach when he was stopped.

"Welcome home Puddin" a voice said from within the pie to which it moved and then Harley's butt appeared from the pie followed by her entire body. Only her face could be seen that was NOT covered in pudding.

"Harley..." The Joker said rather touched by this gesture but he didn't let on. He was impressed by her effort though.

She leaned down and scooped some of the pie topping on her finger "Wanna try some of my pie?" she cooed her eyes twinkling.

"Harley..." The Joker said smiling approaching her slowly.

"I'm sure you'll want seconds" she said smiling flashing her white teeth.

The Joker stood in front of Harley and leaned towards her smiling with his wide grin "Harley did you do this for ME?" he said smiling at her fondly.

"Mm hmm I got some baking lessons from red she helped me sort this all out" she said blushing under the make-up so her cheeks were rosy.

"I see well I must say you look delicious" he said and sucked her finger to which she giggled as his tongue rolled over her fingers. He stopped and smiled "Vanilla...my favourite how did you know?" he said touched.

Harley smiled "I did my research after all I gal has to know about her man to please him" she said and kissed him to which he returned it.

After she pulled away he smirked "I think I'd like to taste you more Pooh...Upstairs" he chuckled his eyes shining wickedly.

**_Upstairs_**

The Joker was licking Harley while on the floor of the bedroom "You taste so sweet Harls" he said licking her chest.

"Oh...more Puddin...more...please" she moaned lustfully clutching his head as he licked her body cleaning her of the sweet cream.

"My my aren't we a horny little minx" The Joker chuckled deviously.

After at least an hour her body was no longer covered so much in cream but there were still stains upon her.

"Harley baby you REALLY outdid yourself tonight" he chuckled as red lace lingerie began to appear from under the cream.

"Yeah I had em for ages but was unable to wear em coz I wanted to save em for tonight" she said shyly.

"Harls that's so sweet" he said and then the pair burst out laughing at the pun. They then began kissing heavily to which The Joker wrapped one around Harley's head and pulled her headdress off and threw it to the floor with the other he began to grope Harley's butt.

**_Later that night_**

Harley's panties were on the floor and her bra was hanging from the ceiling fan. Her headdress had landed on the chair and was lying on its side.

The Joker's suit was on Harley's mirror and dresser while his shoes were scattered on the floor.

"That was nice Puddin" Harley sighed lovingly. Her face was clean of make-up and her hair was loose and had fallen to her shoulders in golden waves. She was covered up to her chest by the purple sheet and was lying upon The Joker's chest listening to his heart.

"It sure was Pooh that was the best anniversary gift you've ever given me" he chuckled. He was on his back with his arm around Harley's back. His other hand was rested behind his head in a V shape.

"Y'know what J" she said in her Harleen voice. She only used this voice when she was SERIOUS.

"What's that pooh?" The Joker said stroking her golden waves.

"I love you" she said fondly batting her blue eyes lovingly.

The Joker looked touched "Harley..." he said gently.

Harley blushed her cheeks turning a rosy colour she DEEPLY cared for this man.

The Joker smiled "Me too Pooh...Stay exactly the way you are" he said fondly.

Harley smiled "I'll hold you to it" she said and leaned towards him and kissed him lovingly.


	6. C6: Aim for my heart

Harley was in the kitchen making pork curry and rice for dinner. She was making this especially since he was a fan of spicy foods. It was a little burned but still edible and she had tasted it to make sure everything was fine.

She turned off the stove and heated up some rice in the microwave then went downstairs to find The Joker. He had gone to the shooting range in the basement to work off his anger so she was nervous on how he would act.

**_Downstairs_**

The Joker was shooting at a paper picture of Batman and a stuffed dummy made to look like him. He had removed his waist jacket and lay in down in front of him as wearing it made it annoying when he used 2 hands.

"Um Puddin?" Harley said nervously as she peeked her head around the door.

"Hmm?" The Joker said not paying attention.

"Dinner is ready" Harley said meekly not wanting to piss him off.

"I'll be up soon" The Joker said refilling his gun with ammunition.

Harley pouted she had SO wanted to be alone with him for dinner but lately he was concentrating MORE on killing Batman than spending time with her. She stood there with her head bowed for a few seconds feeling unwanted.

The Joker looked over his shoulder and saw her still standing by the door

"You need something Harls?" The Joker said raising an eyebrow. Usually she would leave by now until he came upstairs.

"Puddin can I...Can I join in?" she said shyly her cheeks tinted red by a gentle blush. They hardly ever spent time together unless it was a special occasion or The Joker was in the mood.

The Joker stared at her blinking usually the only thing she was interested in was fooling around or annoying him while he was working "Sure..." he said raising an eyebrow with surprise.

Harley shyly walked over feeling a little bit better that he wasn't telling her to get lost or beat it like he usually did. She was wearing a plain white blouse and mini trousers that ended at her knees. Instead of the usual bunches she had a single braid and simple grey eye shadow and red cherry lip-gloss there was also a little bit of blush on her cheeks too.

Harley stood beside him and picked up a gun admiring its well made design. She never admitted it but seeing him use those weapons aroused her greatly. It made him look dangerous and badass things she liked in a man.

"You ready?" he said folding his arms and watching her intently as she handled the gun.

Harley spread her legs out wide and then lifted the gun so it was pointed in front of her at the target "Yep" she said with a look of concentration.

The Joker smirked Harley did look sexy with a gun and it made The Joker remember why he liked her so much. I mean sure she was an annoying cry-baby and a whiney brat at times but at times she could be dangerous, unexpected and smart too.

"Almost right pooh but you need to adjust your position" he said grinning widely.

"What do you mean?" she said curiously to which her heart almost leapt out of her throat when he stood behind her his body pressed closely to hers.

"First lean into the gun" he said taking hold of her shoulder and leaning them forward a little causing her shirt to strain under the weight of her busts.

"Y...yes sir" Harley stammered nervously enjoying his touch.

"Straighten your back" The Joker said placing one hand on her stomach and the other against her spine pushing her back a little.

Harley moaned pleasantly as he caressed her back she LOVED his touch so much especially when he teased her like this.

"Now remove the trigger" he said nibbling her ear.

Harley obeyed her whole body screaming with desire for him. It was amazing how excited she got just by being close to him she could feel herself getting hot and her crotch was getting slimy.

"Raise the gun to your line of sight" The Joker cooed helping her raise the gun towards the line of her eyesight.

"Now you fix the gun to your target you getting all this Pumpkin?" he said blowing in her ear to tease her.

"Mm hmm" Harley moaned nervously.

"Breath in" The Joker said raising his hand towards her chest.

Harley breathed in slowly preparing herself for the shot.

"And release the trigger" The Joker said deviously.

Harley released the trigger to which the bullet hit the target's head.

"Oh my god...I HIT it" Harley said in amazement.

"And how did that FEEL Pooh?" The Joker said in a sensual voice.

Harley blushed heavily "Really...Really good Puddin" she said her eyes shining.

"I'm glad to hear it now I think I'm about ready for that curry of yours" The Joker said taking hold of his waist jacket.

Harley stopped him pressing herself against her chest "Wait...we don't HAVE to go I can just heat it up" Harley said pleadingly.

"I'm hungry Harls" The Joker said firmly.

"Well can I at least have a KISS?" Harley said her eyes huge.

The Joker chuckled "How can I say NO to that face" he chuckled and pulled her closely by the waist and kissed her deeply.

"Best day EVER" Harley thought to herself as she smooched The Joker running her hands through his hair.


	7. C7: Lovers talk

Harley sat on the bed sighing heavily. The Joker was busy working on another scheme to destroy Batman (again). She knew it was important to him but felt like she was being put second to his plans. She was wearing her Harlequin jester costume but had removed her hat, mask and make-up. Her hair was lose instead of being in the usual bunches due to them hurting her head.

She picked up Psycho her plushie clown toy and hugged him tightly. He stayed with her all the time and never abandoned her. The odd thing was he was like a mini Joker so she would always have a small part of him with her. After about 15 minutes she got up and made her way downstairs "I will go on a date with my Puddin even if I have to fight for it" she said firmly.

**_In office_**

The Joker was yet again plotting another scheme to which Gotham would fall into chaos and Batman would perish. He had been working for 3 days straight using Whiskey, Coffee and doughnuts to keep him going.

Suddenly there was a gentle knock on the door to which Harley appeared "M...Mistah-J" she said nervously but in a brave tone.

The Joker looked up and was surprised by her appearance but said nothing. She looked prettier than usual without her clown make-up. He sighed crossly "What is it Harls?" he said firmly.

Harley swallowed "Well the thing is...I was kinda hoping we...we could um...well..." she stammered nervously.

"Spit it out Harley I aint a mind reader" he said crossly. Though he had to admit it she was cute when she was frightened.

"Go on a date?" she said nervously closing her eyes and awaited a loud scolding on why she was an idiot and how he was busy.

The Joker did think about being angry but then he thought about and agreed to himself that he had been working way too hard. His relationship with Harley was still strong but they hardly did anything together and a day out might be nice and relaxing. The Joker smiled "Ok Harls".

Harley perked up smiling happily "You mean it Puddin" she said happily.

"Sure but where do you wanna go?" he sighed heavily expecting a restaurant meal or to go shopping.

"Um I kinda wanna go to the beach" she said quietly.

The Joker was surprised but pleased he hadn't been to the beach since he was a kid and it was enjoyable as long as there were no screeching kids or annoying teenagers "Sounds ok" he said casually.

"Thanks Puddin you won't regret it I PROMISE!" she said squealing happily and headed upstairs but then stopped at the door "Oh and Puddin no suit you gotta dress nice but you can still bring your gadgets" she said firmly.

"Harley this is the only suit I OWN let alone wear" He said crossly.

Harley tossed a box at him "I bought it just in case" she said smirking.

The Joker was impressed at her quick thinking and smirked "Clever".

Harley giggled "Your welcome" and ran upstairs.

The Joker waited till she was gone and opened the box. His eyes widened in shock "She bought this for ME?!" he said feeling touched. She had bought a black shirt, A white jacket the same length as his normal waist jacket and White trousers. Her fashion taste for men wasn't as bad as he expected "Nice ones Harls" he muttered.

**_Upstairs_**

Harley had removed her Harlequin suit and her mask and hat were sat on a chair. She was looking through her wardrobe for a nice outfit to wear. She had decided to keep her hair down on this occasion but at least style it.

She eventually chose a Blue dungaree crop top with buttons to fasten the straps and buttons down the front. She also chose a pair of pale pink mini shorts and a white jacket that ended at her lower thighs. On her feet she put on some black Mary-Jane shoes with a small heel. She then sorted out the hair simply by styling it into a regular ponytail as it matched the look perfectly.

She turned in front of the mirror "perfect" she said happily and then applied some red lipstick, a little blush and some grey eye shadow and made her way downstairs. She couldn't help but smile "Mistah-J is gonna love it" she said happily as he often told her how he liked her legs.

**_Meanwhile downstairs_**

The Joker had asked Curl and Rocco to babysit Bud and Lou as he wanted Harley all to himself without the Hyena's stealing her attention. He had brought some weapons in case they decided to get a little wild on their date.

"I'm ready Puddin" Harley called sweetly.

The Joker turned and was gobsmacked by her outfit. His eyes roamed her body and the outfit that she wore complimented her figure very well. He was only grateful that he would have her all to himself.

"You like it?" she said smiling at him and batting her eyelashes.

"Harley you look wonderful" the Joker said walking up to her and holding her close. She had applied some perfume that smelled like peaches and it was enticing.

"Shall we be off?" she cooed into his ear.

"Of course Pooh" The Joker said picking her up bridal style and carrying her to the car.

"Be good babies" Harley called to Bud and Lou who whimpered a little.

**_Later_**

Harley and Joker were speeding along in the car towards the beach. The wind was blowing over their heads and through their hair.

Harley was gazing at the landscape and often at The Joker he looked so cool and sexy in his new outfit that it made her want to attack him right now.

The Joker changed gear and saw Harley smiling at him "Something wrong?" he asked suspiciously.

Harley shook her head "Sorry Puddin it's just you look so handsome in your new clothes" she said blushing a little.

The Joker smirked "I should hope so" he said deviously eyeing Harley up and down.

"I noticed you brought guns Puddin" she said smiling.

"Just in case we decide to get crazy" The Joker said smirking.

"Oh Puddin your so romantic" Harley sighed lovingly.

The Joker smiled at her admiring her pretty features. She wore the make-up so often he had forgotten what a beautiful and mature woman she was underneath. It made him realize why he had chosen her to begin with.

"I wonder how the babies are doing" Harley thought to herself.

**_At Funnibone factory_**

Curl and Rocco were eating Chinese take-put while the Hyena's were ravaging at their bones and steaks with great delight.

Suddenly Poison Ivy burst in through the front door "Is Harley here?" she asked looking hopeful.

"Sorry Miss Ivy she went out with the boss on a date" Rocco said apologetically.

Ivy frowned "Ok well tell her to call me later" she said crossly. She had wanted to invite Harley on another heist but that plan had gone up in smoke.

"That dame REALLY likes Miss Quinn" Curl said amazed.

"Yeah for some time she and Miss Quinn were partners in crime" Rocco said.

Ivy climbed into her car crossly "I can't believe she forgot our girls night AGAIN" she grumble crossly. It was all Joker's fault he most likely had persuaded her again and she had melted like butter to his demands.

**_At beach_**

Harley climbed out of the car and gazed at the beautiful landscape of the seaside. The golden sands the blue ocean and above all the boardwalk that couples would walk down.

"It's so wonderful thanks for doing this Mistah-J" she said happily.

"Anything for my Harley-girl" The Joker said locking the car but he smiled at her as he did so.

Harley was so happy to be able to spend a day alone with The Joker without any problems what so ever. She could have him all to herself and nobody not even batman could get in the way.

"So what does my little Harley want to do first" the Joker said taking her hand.

"I'd like to take a walk along the beachfront with some ice-cream" she said happily.

"Very well Pooh" The Joker said. He wasn't a fan of ice-cream but licking it off Harley would be fun.

"Thanks Puddin you're the best" she cooed and kissed his cheek.

They took a walk and eventually came across an ice cream vendor to which Harley ran up to it. The Joker sighed and followed knowing that NO wouldn't be an option in this situation but as long as she was happy and didn't whine.

"One Mint choc chip please" Harley said to the vendor with a big smile.

"That's 2 dollars please" the vendor said smiling. The Joker paid the guy and then walked off with Harley who was licking the ice cream happily.

As they walked along Harley put the ice-cream under The Jokers nose "Want a lick Puddin?" she asked kindly.

"No thanks Pooh I aint an ice-cream lover" he said gratefully and ruffled her hair.

"Ok" She said and kissed his cheek then continued eating her ice cream.

Despite hating any sort of outing normally; this was nice. Just Harley and him without the Hyena's whimpering or any Batman. He could relax and enjoy spending the day with his lover.

"We should do this more often Pooh it's much more tolerable" The Joker said taking her hand.

Harley smiled "Well I did kinda want some alone time with you" She said blushing.

"Harley" The Joker said touched. He kissed her lovingly cupping his hand around her head to which she wrapped her arms around his back.

They pulled away after a few minutes and gazed at one another lovingly. Most people would call them mad or Psycho's but they were a couple none the less. As they walked along 2 guys eyed up Harley and whistled at her their eyes filled with lust.

"Something I can help you with?!" The Joker snarled angrily glaring at them.

"Just that your honey would look better with me" The first guy said smirking.

The Joker pulled out is gun and shot him in the head and then blew out the smoke "I don't think so dipshit" he said crossly.

Harley sighed "You're so cool Mistah-J" she gushed hugging him tightly.

"You bet I am baby" he said kissing her cheek. NOBODY looked at his woman let alone tried to take her away. She was HIS and nobody else's.

The pair walked along hand in hand towards the boardwalk. This would be a date to remember for a LONG time.


	8. C8: Valentie gift

Harley was sat in the bedroom reading a book and awaiting The Joker to return. She had sent Curl and Rocco out so she could have the evening alone with her beloved psychotic clown.

As if on cue she heard the car pull up in the garage and the door burst open "Harley Daddy's home" The Joker called loudly. Bud and Lou ran up to him and began licking him to which he pushed them down but petted them "Hello boys been good" he said smirking at them.

"I'll be down soon Puddin just go ahead and do your important work" Harley called from upstairs.

"Sure thing Pooh" The Joker called back. He was pleased that Harley was letting him do his work but at the same time disappointed that she hadn't given him a hug as per normal. He made his way to his office and closed the door but made sure Bud and Lou were tied up so he could have some peace and quiet.

**_upstairs_**

Harley curled her hair into ringlets and applied a little hairspray to keep it in place. She then applied some eye shadow, mascara, blusher and red lipstick.

She pulled out a white toga dress from her wardrobe that she had bought especially for the occasion. It reached her upper thigh and was white with a V front and no sleeves; There was a peachy pink sash around her waist that reached her knees. On her feet were sandals and she applied a pair of wings to her costume to complete the look.

She also had a small sack to which contained some goodies of which were a can of whipped cream, a box of chocolate covered strawberries, and a bunch of purple roses. She had bought these especially so she and The Joker could have some fun together since it was a special holiday for lovers in particular.

She peered at herself quickly in the mirror and smiled "Go get him girl" she giggled to herself and skipped downstairs.

**_In office_**

The Joker was busy working over another scheme in which Batman would perish under the great wave of doom he would send his way along with his array of demonic goodies.

Suddenly there was a gentle knock at his door "What?!" he said irritably.

"Puddin it's me" Harley said timidly.

The Joker stopped what he was doing perhaps she had decided to finally give him his welcome home hug. Well he might as well get it over with he had picked something up for her on the way home.

"Come in" he said in a more friendly but stern tone.

Harley opened the door and walked in wearing her cherub attire batting her eyelashes fondly at him "Happy Valentine's day Puddin" she said sweetly.

The Joker was both happy and touched "Harley.." he said smiling.

She walked over to him and sat in front of him at his desk "I brought some presents for my beloved Mistah-J" she said her smile growing bigger.

The Joker pinched her cheek gently "Harley you did all this for me" he said smiling.

Harley nodded "Yeah..." she said gently but then looked worried "Sorry if I bothered you" she said apologetically.

The Joker smiled "Not at all better late than never" he said tickling her chin. He then noticed her small sack and raised his eyebrow "What you got there sweets?" he asked curiously.

"Just some presents to show my affection" she said blushing a little. She pulled out the purple roses first and placed them in a vase.

"Harley you got me roses? And their purple" He said feeling touched at the effort she had gone to.

"Yeah red genetically engineered some new ones so I took some" she said smiling at him lovingly.

For once The Joker was pleased that Ivy was a plant infatuated loon because she had created something that signified him in the smallest way; It almost made him want to laugh.

Harley then smirked "I also know how kinky you can get Puddin so I bought something delicious" she giggled. She took out the box of chocolate strawberries and the can of whipped cream to which a large grin appeared on his face.

"My, My Harley you've gone all out" The Joker said impressed by the effort she had put in.

"I wanted it to be special" she said crossing her legs seductively.

"Well then sweets shall we have some fun?" The Joker said deviously.

Harley squealed happily and leapt into his arms and kissed him lovingly. She ADORED him so much she just wished that every day could be as special.

**_a couple of minutes later_**

Harley grabbed the can of whipped cream and began covering The Joker penis with it "It looks so tasty" she giggled.

"Why don't you have a taste?" The Joker said smirking. The thought of Harley caressing his member was driving him insane.

Harley began licking the tip seductively then took it in her hand and began sucking the thing whole. It tasted so creamy and delicious and was her favourite thing in the whole world.

"Jesus Harley...Damn you have such a good mouth...FUCK!" The Joker moaned lustfully as she caressed his penis with her soft mouth and tongue.

"Mmm...ick...tafes...oh...ood" Harley moaned as she sucked him off.

The Joker grabbed her head and began thrusting his erect cock in and out of her mouth loving the warmth of her mouth.

Eventually a familiar feeling began to spread throughout his body "Harley...I...I'm...I'm gonna cum!" He cried loudly.

Harley swallowed every drop of his semen and licked her lips afterwards "So thick and tasty" she said her blue eyes shining.

"You really have talent Harls" The Joker said impressed.

"Thanks Puddin" She said smiling at him seductively.

The Joker patted his lap "C'mere Harls" he said grinning at her.

Harley got to her feet and sat on his lap wrapping her arms around his neck "Yes Mistah-J?" She asked stroking his cheek.

The Joker picked up a strawberry and placed it in her mouth to which she chewed lovingly and even sucked on his fingers. The Joker smirked "Aren't we eager" he chuckled.

"I can't help it Puddin your so delicious" she said licking her lips.

"Greedy little minx" he chuckled and began caressing her breasts.

Harley moaned a little her body feeling pleasant and her nipples becoming hard. She loved his touch and how good he made her feel.

"So soft and sensitive you have great tits Harls" The Joker teased and flicked her nipple making her shudder.

Harley moaned loudly "T...Thanks Mistah-J" she panted.

The Joker pulled off her panties swiftly sliding them down her leg then began rubbing her clit. He smirked as she began to moan louder her breathing getting quicker.

"That...That feels good Puddin" Harley sighed.

"You want my cock Harley?" He teased nibbling her ear.

"Y...Yes" She moaned lustfully.

The Joker raised an eyebrow "Yes what?" he said firmly.

"Yes sir" she said tightening her grip around his neck a little.

"Good girl" he said praising her for her obedience. He loved it when she was so cute and obeyed it made things easier and more arousing.

**_a couple of minutes later_**

Harley was laid on her back upon The Joker's desk her face bright red. She couldn't help but feel slightly ashamed of what she was about to do but it felt SO good.

"C'mon Pooh open them up" the Joker ordered.

Harley opened her legs wide so her pussy was more viewable and the juices began to flow "I...Is that better Mistah-J?" she said shyly.

The Joker spread her pussy wide "Lots better Harley" he said smirking. "You take VERY good care of yourself Harley I'm impressed" he teased.

"W...Well I do it for you Puddin" She sighed as he stuck a finger into her pussy.

"So wet you really are a horny slut" he teased and licked his fingers enjoying the taste.

"I am...It's just coz you're so SEXY" she sighed gazing at him.

"Harley..." The Joker said touched and rather pleased. He rubbed his erect penis against her wet pussy and eventually rammed it inside her moaning a little as he did.

"Oh Mistah-J!" Harley cried loudly as he entered her.

"Damn Harley you're so tight!" He moaned loudly.

"Please give it to me Mistah-J I WANT it!" Harley moaned waving her hips up and down.

"Very well Pooh" The Joker teased and began thrusting in and out with ease slowly at first then growing in speed.

Harley moaned and gasped with delight as her beloved Joker pounded her pussy with everything he had. She loved it when he fucked her hard and fast it felt so much better than normal sex.

The Joker eventually picked her up and sat her in his lap and held her waist "Now you move on your own" he said firmly.

"Yes sir" She said obediently and began moving her waist up and down enjoying the feel of him inside her.

The Joker thrust his hips as she moved but made sure she was the one pleasing him and not the other way around. Even in their intimate moments HE was in charge.

"P...Puddin...I...I think I'm Cumming!" Harley moaned moving faster.

"Me too Harley I'm gonna cum inside" he grunted as she played with his balls affectionately.

The pair came together loud yells and screams filling the room as they climaxed.

**_Afterwards_**

Harley was sat on The Joker's lap leaning against his chest panting trying to catch her breath.

The Joker lit a cigarette and began stroking Harley's hair "That feel good sweets?" he said affectionately.

"Mmm hmm" she said fondly enjoying his touch.

"Oh yes that reminds me I got you a present" The Joker said taking a medium sized box out of his desk.

It was red with a black bow and had a tag on it that read "To my little Harlequin doll" to which Harley smiled.

"Just so you know who you belong to" The Joker said winking.

Harley opened it to find a black leather choker with silver spikes and a red diamond hanging from it. Tears welled up in her eyes "Puddin" she said touched.

The Joker placed it around her neck "Perfect" he said smiling.

"I love you Puddin" she said wiping her eyes.

"As do I my little Harlequin" The Joker said fondly.


	9. C9: Sun, Sea and Clowns

"Thanks for doing this Puddin" Harley sighed happily.

"No problem Harls it was about time we got out of Gotham for a while anyway" The Joker said smirking.

The Joker and Harley were at the beach in the next town to Gotham. They had been thinking about this for a while but after Batman was hot on their tails The Joker had decided it was a good plan.

The Joker was wearing a pair of black Speedo's and a pair of black sunshades. He was on a deckchair with Bud and Lou beside him relaxing in the sun.

Harley was more of her natural self with her blonde locks out and NO clown make-up. She was wearing a Bikini which was 1/2 black, 1/2 red for the top and a pair of black bottoms. On top she was wearing a white thigh length beach robe which was open.

2 guys were ogling at Harley from a distance but didn't dare get closer due to the Hyena's sitting next to The Joker. It was hard not to when she was such an attractive woman with a great figure.

The Joker eventually caught them staring and frowned "Something I can help you losers with?" he said darkly. The two guys shook their heads nervously to which The Joker smirked "Good...Then PISS OFF!" he snapped angrily.

The 2 men fled before he could set the Hyena's on them. The Joker smirked that would teach them to check out his woman; Harley belonged to HIM and nobody else.

Harley turned on her side to face The Joker "Want some Iced coffee Puddin?" She said smiling.

"Sure Pooh" The Joker said smiling at her.

Harley handed him a can of iced coffee from the basket then got herself some juice sipping it happily. She loved having alone time with him more than anything else in the world.

"C'mere babies" Harley cooed pouring some water for Bud and Lou. The two Hyena's got up and lapped from their bowl to which she stroked their heads "Good boys".

A few people looked somewhat shocked and scared by Harley's loving attitude towards the Hyena's but she was used to it. They just weren't aware of how sweet they could be once tamed and raised properly.

**_Later_**

Harley and Joker were walking along the surf with Bud and Lou.

Harley was clinging to The Joker's arm happily "It's so romantic Mistah-J I wish we could do this all the time" she said lovingly.

The Joker smiled "Me too Pooh but you know Batsy is my main priority" he said pinching her nose playfully.

"Babies go play" Harley said removing their leads "And play nice!" She called as they ran off into the sand.

"Any reason you let em go Pooh?" The Joker said curiously raising an eyebrow.

"I wanted you to myself" Harley said wrapping her arms around his neck and pressing her chest against his.

The Joker grinned and wrapped his arms around her waist "Harley..." he said lovingly.

Harley gazed into his dark eyes batting her own blue ones lovingly. She loved this clown and nobody could tell her otherwise.

The Joker pull her closer to him admiring her big blue eyes, cherub face, rosy cheeks and golden blonde locks. He was a lucky guy and any guy would have a right to be jealous; he had it GOOD.

Harley leaned towards him and kissed him lovingly. She loved having these romantic moments with him as they made her life feel more special.

The Joker raised one arm and cupped the back of her head gently. He entered his tongue into her mouth which she accepted with ease.

After a few minutes they pulled away from one another and gazed into each other's eyes smiling.

"I love ya Puddin" Harley said smiling flashing her white teeth.

"I love you Harley" The Joker said tickling her chin making her laugh.

"Shall we return to the hotel for some rough sex?" The Joker said smirking deviously.

"Oh Mistah-J your so romantic!" Harley sighed happily.


	10. C10: Batman the peeping tom

"Mistah-J that feels nice" Harley sighed pleasantly.

"You really love my cock don't you Harls" Joker teased as he groped her chest

"I do Puddin ever so much! It's so hard and strong and throbbing" Harley sighed pleasantly.

Suddenly there was a crash from the ceiling to which glass shattered onto the floor followed by Robin and Batman.

"Joker you're under are...OH MY GOD!" Batman said crossly but then became more embarrassed and disgusted by the sigh in front of him.

Robin turned red and covered his eyes to hide the image before him before he got any weird ideas.

Joker was on his back with his pants pulled down. His expression was a cross between aroused, shocked and humoured. He currently had his hands on Harley's breasts but was looking straight at Batman.

Harley had her jester hat and make-up on but was wearing a red lingerie nightgown that reached her upper thigh. She was currently straddling The Joker with an aroused expression that was now becoming more embarrassed and pissed off.

"Well hello bats come to join the party?" Joker teased with a large grin.

Harley sighed heavily knowing this was going to lead to a conversation between the two. She removed herself from Joker's groin and got up and headed towards the bedroom mumbling angry words.

Joker seemed rather annoyed that Harley had left. He got up and zipped up his pants "Well Bats you better have a good reason for bursting in! I would about ready to cum inside Harley" He said crossly.

Batman coughed discretely to distract himself "There have been several attacks on labs recently and at each crime scene you left breadcrumbs that indicated your signature mark" he said not looking him in the eye.

"I see well I'd love to say it WAS me but unfortunately I've been too busy plotting my next scheme to try any of that" Joker said deviously folding his arms.

"I think you may have got Mistah-J mixed up with someone else" Harley said appearing in the room wearing a red silk dressing gown.

"How so?" Batman said firmly.

"Let me see the schematics from the crime scene" Harley said holding out her hand.

Batman sighed crossly but obeyed. Quinn may have been insane but she was no moron that was for sure.

Harley rubbed her chin thoughtfully as her eyes scanned over the evidence. Eventually she looked up and said "You got the wrong guy" she said firmly.

"What?" Batman and Robin said simultaneously in a shocked voice.

"Told ya" Joker mocked with a devious grin.

Harley nodded "Yeah these ingredients used in the gas aint what Mistah-J uses I know coz I've seen him work" she explained.

For once Joker was glad Harley was an ex-doctor. Her brain still held information from when she worked at Arkham.

"So who could have done it?" Batman asked suspiciously.

"I'd suggest Johnny or Red" Harley suggested smiling sweetly.

Batman sighed crossly "You mean Scarecrow or Poison Ivy".

"Who else would I be referring to? Geez Batman you aint half thick" Harley chuckled.

Batman said nothing but turned to leave to which Robin followed nervously.

"Come back soon" Joker teased waving goodbye.

"Well that was fun" Harley huffed crossly. She knew Joker would go off and work in his office now so she had better put some clothes on. She turned away and headed for the stairs she couldn't help but feel disappointed as she had been enjoying herself before Batman burst in.

"Where are you going?" Joker said sternly displeased by her sudden exit.

"Well I thought since Batsy just burst in you'd not be in the mood no more" Harley said innocently.

The Joker tried not to look insulted but it was true that he was the usual dominator in their sexual relationship. He sighed crossly "Harls just coz Batman burst in doesn't mean I don't wanna fuck you anymore".

"Sorry Mistah-J but you are hard to read sometimes" Harley said apologetically.

The Joker couldn't argue there. But he liked being unpredictable it was part of his character that made him who he was. He held out his arms wide and smiled "C'mere pooh" he said lovingly.

Harley hesitated for a moment then walked towards him and wrapped her arms around his neck. She felt his arms snake around her waist and tickling her ever so slightly.

"Daddy really wants to play with his Harley girl; don't you wanna play with daddy?" he said pouting a little to tease her.

"Of course I do but..." Harley cried but was silenced by his lips slamming against hers. She didn't fight she returned his kiss and ran her fingers through his green locks.

Joker eventually pulled away leaving her breathless much to his joy. He gazed at her cherub face adoringly enjoying her expression.

Harley was panting heavily trying to catch her breath. Her cheeks were flushed a little from lack of oxygen, Her eyes were glazed over and her expression was both aroused and desirous.

Joker picked her up bridal style holding her close to him "If you liked that then you'll love the surprise daddy has for you" he teased playfully.

"Y...Yes sir" Harley said quietly her cheeks still burning. She was clinging to his waist jacket tightly as if he was going to disappear in a puff of smoke.

Joker peered down at her quietly his expression thoughtful she may act like a whiny bitch quite a few times but underneath was a smart, sexy and beautiful girl whom he loved dearly.

Harley saw him peering at her and became curious "Something wrong Puddin?" she asked innocently.

Joker chuckled "Nothing at all Pooh just thinking" he said kissing her cheek. He would never tell her what he thought about her REALLY as that was his little secret.


	11. C11: Pillow talk

The Joker was laid on his back with a large smile on his face. His upper torso was uncovered flashing his pale toned chest. His left arm was wrapped around Harley while his other arm was leaned behind his head in a V shape.

Harley was leaned against The Joker's chest laying there quietly enjoying the moment. Her lovely blonde hair tumbled over her shoulders like golden rain. The sheet covered her lower torso while her chest was uncovered but she didn't care.

Bud and Lou were in the corner sleeping peacefully. They had gotten used to their masters having sex while they were in the room and had learned to sleep through it.

"I liked that Puddin it was much wilder than usual" Harley giggled ticking his chest with her slender fingers.

"Same here Harls I never expected you to enjoy candles so much" Joker chuckled as he remembered dripping wax on her.

Harley giggled "What can I say I have some kinky tastes".

"You bad girl" Joker teased tickling her chin.

Harley kissed his cheek lovingly she loved these moments the best. When he wasn't working on a scheme The Joker put more effort into being romantic after sex. She got up slowly allowing the sheet to fall and flash her slender figure.

Joker raised his eyebrow crossly "Where are you running off to?" he said suspiciously.

"I was gonna make some coffee" Harley said quietly.

The Joker sat up and pulled her close to him taking her by surprise "You can do that later I wanna enjoy your body some more" he teased nibbling her ear.

Harley shivered with pleasure "B...But Puddin don't you wanna relax I mean I know this takes a lot outta ya" She said nervously.

The Joker pouted crossly "I get bored without you and besides your good conversation...sometimes" he muttered.

Harley blinked and stared at him in shock. She then smiled "You'd miss me would you" She chuckled.

"I didn't say that" Joker snapped firmly.

Harley leapt at him taking him by surprise so she landed on top of him and sending the sheets flying by mistake.

Joker lay on his back taken aback as Harley lay across him while lying atop him. She had her arms around his neck and was smiling lovingly while hugging him.

Joker would usually complain that she was being too clingy but he was enjoying the feeling if her soft skin and voluptuous breasts on his own body. He slowly wrapped his arms around her back wanting to be closer to her.

Harley nuzzled her cheek against his own lovingly "I love you Puddin" she sighed happily.

Joker went quiet and he peered at her with his black eyes. She was a sweet girl with a heart bigger than most. Most women called him a freak and a monster but Harley accepted his darkness and loved him more than anyone else.

Slowly he cupped the back of her head with his hand and wrapped his other arm around her back. He buried his nose in her blonde locks enjoying the scent of her hair. Why was it she always smelled so sweet even when she was all sweaty.

Suddenly Bud and Lou woke up and padded towards the bed. They whimpered at them and rested their heads on the side of the bed.

"Sorry boys your mummy is having fun with daddy right now" Joker said firmly but in a playful tone. He shooed them away to which they padded away out of the bedroom and downstairs.

"Mistah-J" Harley said gently gazing into his eyes.

"Yes pooh?" Joker said stroking her hair.

Harley slammed her lips onto his and pulled him into a passionate kiss.

The Joker was taken by surprise at first but eventually returned her kiss and rolled onto his side so they were facing one another.

Harley eventually pulled away smiling deviously "Gotcha".

The Joker smirked "You little minx" he chuckled.

"You love it" Harley teased.

"You know it baby-girl" Joker chuckled running his fingers across her stomach.

"Stop...geez...ah..no stop it...*giggle* I'm ticklish" Harley squealed.

"Make me" Joker said smirking and began tickling her furiously.

Harley squealed as he tickled her stomach and even blew a raspberry on her stomach. He was such tease but she loved that about him. Joyful tears spilled down her cheeks as he teased her.

"That's it sweets squirm for daddy" Joker teased playfully.

"Geez quit it already" Harley giggled.

The Joker eventually stopped but gazed at her fondly as she laughed and caught her breath. He smiled lovingly at her "I love you...Harleen" he said cupping her soft cheeks.

Harley gazed up at him with her blue eyes and wrapped her arms around his chest "Me too...Jay" she said smiling at him lovingly.

The pair kissed passionately but lay there enjoying the moment. They loved each other and no matter who came between them they would always be together.


	12. C12: Lessons in love

Harley walked into The Joker's office nervously. She was unsure of why he had asked her to come since she had been well behaved and stayed out of his way so he could work.

"Ah so you finally came did you" The Joker said sharply. He had his chair turned away from her so they were unable to look at each other.

"M...Mistah-J if I did something wrong I'm really sorry!" Harley stammered nervously.

"Harley do you know what day it is today?" The Joker said in a playful yet devious tone.

"Um...It's Friday" Harley said in a confused manner. "Oh I should do some chilli to celebrate the weekend" she said getting distracted.

"Harley pay attention!" The Joker snapped firmly.

"Sorry Puddin" Harley whimpered nervously.

The Joker sighed heavily "Today is the anniversary of you becoming my Hench girl and lover" He said in a firm voice.

Harley gasped "Oh yeah...It's been five years now hasn't it" Harley said thoughtfully.

"Yes and it's time to put on your party clothes" The Joker said tossing her a black and red striped box with a black bow.

Harley blushed "Um...Ok" she said and was about to leave when The Joker coughed discretely to get her attention.

"Where are you going?" He said firmly.

"I...I was gonna change in our room" Harley said innocently.

"You can use that!" he said pointing to a decorated screen.

Harley blushed but did as she was told and walked behind it and began undressing.

The Joker grinned as he listened to the rustling of her clothes and the sound of her unzipping her suit. There was also a ruffling noise of a towel which meant she was removing her make-up.

"You almost done Harls? Daddy is getting impatient" The Joker teased in a mischievous tone.

"Almost Puddin" Harley said nervously. It was a bad idea to make him wait as his patience was often limited.

The Joker tapped his finger on his leather chair impatiently. He was not one who liked to be left waiting for a long period of time.

"I'm done Mistah-J" Harley said after about 15 minutes.

The Joker turned around and grinned deviously at her attire. He was wearing a teachers cap with a tassel and a long black coat.

Harley was wearing a white blouse with elbow length sleeves and 4 buttons undone flashing her cleavage and the lace on her red bra; She had a red tie around her neck with 2 black diamond's at the bottom which hung loosely near her breasts. On her lower area she was wearing a red pleated mini skirt that reached her upper thigh and a pair of red and black checked calf length socks. On her feet were a pair of black Mary Jane pumps.

Her hair was styled into 2 bunches with a pair of ribbons. 1 black with red diamonds and 1 red with black diamonds. She had a small amount of blush on her cheeks, blackish red lipstick, grey eyeliner and black mascara.

Harley held her hands in front of her clenched together in a clasped fist. She was filled with worry to what The Joker had in store for her.

"My, My don't you look delicious" The Joker chuckled licking his lips.

Harley blushed "Thanks Mistah-J" she said quietly.

The Joker raised his hand and gestured for her to approach with his index finger.

Harley swallowed nervously but obeyed him. She was feeling rather embarrassed about her skirt being so short. It was a good thing that the henchmen were out a bar or she would have died if they saw her.

When she reached his desk she stood beside him obediently. She knew that she could only approach with his permission if not she would be punished.

The Joker pulled her onto his lap taking her by surprise. She cried out in shock as she landed onto his lap.

She wrapped her arms around his neck for stability then felt slightly embarrassed for grabbing him without his permission. She peered up at him with her blue eyes "Sorry Mistah-J I just got a shock is all" she said apologetically.

The Joker pretended to be cross "Well I'll have to punish you for not asking permission if you could touch me" He chuckled. He grabbed Harley by the hair and slammed her head first onto the desk.

Harley whimpered as she felt pain shoot through her body. She was used to showing The Joker her ass but only if he asked her to not by force. Suddenly she felt him wrap a rope around her arms so her hands were bound behind her back.

"Mistah-J wait I dunno about this" Harley said nervously. She preferred being tied up so she could see him not be turned away.

"Don't you trust me?" The Joker said deviously.

Harley swallowed "Kinda.." she said reluctantly.

The Joker bent over and kissed her cheek "Daddy is always careful with his little Harlequin you know that" he said gently.

Harley smiled knowing that he was just teasing her made her feel safer. The fact that he was doing this to celebrate her becoming his partner in crime was rather touching.

Suddenly The Joker pulled down her panties and threw them to the floor. He then opened his drawer and pulled out something but she didn't know what.

"Um...Mistah-J what are you doing?" Harley said uncomfortably. The one thing that scared her most was when she couldn't see what he was doing yet it still excited her.

"Just getting a toy" The Joker sniggered slamming something on his palm constantly.

Harley's eyes widened she knew that noise well and was aware that without a doubt it was going to hurt "Puddin wait...not that toy...It's too hard...my ass will get bruised!" Harley begged.

The Joker grinned licking his lips "Oh c'mon Harls where's your sense of sport I thought you liked getting spanked" he chuckled.

Harley closed her eyes and awaited the painful yet pleasurable sensation that awaited her.

Eventually a hard smack stung her butt as the ruler belted her across her tender ass. It hurt like a mother but she could feel herself getting wet already.

"You like that Harls? C'mon tell daddy how it feels" he jeered playfully hitting her harder and faster.

"It...OW...MMM...feels...OW...so...OUCH...NNGH...good!" Harley yelled between pained cries and pleasured moans.

"That's good cry out more let daddy hear your dirty voice" The Joker taunted playfully.

Tears spilled over Harley's cheeks as the harsh whack of the wooden ruler spanked her tender bottom over and over. She spoke not a word except for her tears but inside she was screaming in pain.

Eventually after several hours of spanking hell and pure pleasure The Joker stopped spanking her. He dropped the ruler and cupped her butt in his hands making her whimper in pain.

The Joker bent down and licked the beads of blood from her ass. He ran his tongue over her like a hungry child seeking a meal.

Harley clenched her fists as he ran his tongue over the angry welts on her ass. Somehow despite her complaints she secretly enjoyed the abuse during sex.

"What's this? You're so wet Harley" The Joker chuckled eyeing her dripping pussy.

"No don't look its embarrassing!" Harley cried her face turning red.

The Joker spread her apart and peered at her soaking wet pussy. A large grin spread across his face. He then stuck in his finger and moved it about making Harley moan all over again "You like that sweets?" he teased.

"Yeah...I REALLY like it Mistah-J" Harley sighed pleasantly.

The Joker removed his finger and licked her juices "Mmm salty" he said grinning at Harley as he caught her eye.

Harley looked away shyly that she had been caught. She loved his touch but got embarrassed if she was seen looking at him when she was looking the other way.

Joker then flipped her onto her back taking her by surprise and smacking her injured butt onto his desk. She was not happy about her butt receiving another injury after being spanked just moments earlier.

"That hurt" She grumbled crossly.

"I thought you were a masochist Harls" The Joker chuckled pinching her nipple hard.

Harley moaned but was able to frown "That's playing dirty" she muttered.

"You love it" He teased kissing her passionately.

Harley gasped after he pulled away panting heavily for air. He was so forceful with his love but he made her feel alive in more ways than one.

The Joker rummaged in his pocket and pulled out a vibrator and turned it on grinning wickedly.

"You're not gonna put that in my ass are you?" Harley asked nervously. She didn't mind but she moaned louder when she had a dildo in her ass.

"Nope...Here!" The Joker grinned shoving it into her pussy to which she cried out yet again as she felt in buzzing away.

"Oh my god! Its tingling my pussy and feels like I'm being tickled from the inside!" Harley cried pleasurably.

"If you love that then you'll love your next present" The Joker laughed and pulled out his cock from his trousers.

Harley gasped "It's so big and throbbing! Oh please Puddin shove it in my ass!" she pleased anxiously.

The Joker raised his frowned and folded his arms "Say it like I taught you" he said firmly.

Harley swallowed nervously. It was rather bold to say and made her feel embarrassed but she would do anything for him. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath "Please Mistah-J shove you thick cock into my soaking wet pussy! Punish this naughty girl to your heart's content I beg you!" she cried loudly.

The Joker smiled "Good girl and now you shall receive your reward".

"Thank you Mistah-J" Harley said smiling lustfully.

The Joker shoved his erect member into her soaking wet pussy groaning pleasantly. He then began pounding her pussy like mad to which Harley began moaning all over again.

"Harley you're so tight! Jesus this feels good!" The Joker moaned lustfully. He could feel her tightness squeezing his dick like a vice.

"Oh Mistah-J...My ass is burning up...Oh my god!" Harley cried as wave after wave of pleasure filled her. She could feel his dick pulsing inside of her wildly and it aroused her further.

"That's it yell louder...tell me how it feels!" The Joker laughed squeezing her erect nipples.

"Oh please...play with me more...I'm your naughty toy...Oh baby!" Harley shrieked happily.

"Harley I'm...I'm gonna cum!" The Joker yelled loudly.

"Me too Puddin...Oh my god...AAAAAHHH!" Harley shrieked as she came.

**_After_**

The Joker pulled out of her grunting as he did so. He loved Harley's body and never got tired of seeing her in ecstasy.

Harley lay on his desk panting heavily. Her cheeks were flushed and sweat was running down her.

The Joker fastened his pants and collapsed onto his chair. He then cut Harley's binds with his switchblade and then put it away.

Harley pulled her hands free and then at up. Her hair was slightly messy but she didn't care she loved what he did to her no matter what.

The Joker lit a cigarette and patted his lap to which she sat on his knee and nuzzled against his warm chest. He placed a gentle hand around her back "You like that Harls?" he said gently.

"It was amazing Mistah-J I never knew I could feel so alive yet feel so afraid" Harley said smiling at him fondly.

The Joker smiled he loved how cute she was after they screwed. She was always playful yet affectionate.

Harley took a deep breath "J" she said in her serious Harleen tone.

The Joker took a breath blowing out smoke as he did so "Yes...Harleen?" he said fondly.

Harley wrapped her arms around his neck "I'm glad I met you that day and I still don't regret busting you out. You're the only man I could ever want and who could make me so happy both emotionally and physically" she said stroking his hair.

The Joker smiled "Harley..." he said rather touched by her words.

Harley kissed him lovingly trying to transmit her feelings to him by her touch. She hoped he knew how much he meant to her even if he couldn't ever be a kind person to others.

The Joker put out his cigarette and cupped her soft cheek with his hand. He would always love this woman even if he would never admit it to anyone. She was the female persona to his clown costume. A sparkling jewel in a dark dismal world that nobody could ever taint.

Harley eventually pulled away gazing into his dark eyes "I love you...Puddin" she said smiling sweetly at the last part.

The Joker smiled "And I love you...Harleen Quinzelle" he said gently and pulled her into another kiss.

The pair sat there enjoying their own company. No matter what others may say about them and how they perceived their relationship they would never part from each other. They were one of a kind and would always stay that way...forever.


	13. C13: Clown love

Harley was sat on the bed petting Bud and Lou while reading a book. She felt very lonely despite having the Hyena's for company. It just wasn't the same without her beloved Clown.

The Joker was in his study busy working away at another scheme. He had been working for 3 days straight and had even gone as far as to sleep in his office. The only time he had shown himself was to get food and then return to his cave.

"It aint fair guys..." Harley said bitterly "Mistah-J is all cooped up in his office and won't see anyone he just sits in there working" she grumbled.

Bud and Lou whimpered and licked her hands in a comforting manner. It upset them to see their mama so unhappy.

A tear spilled down Harley's cheek "I mean I understand that he is boss and I follow his orders but..." she sighed heavily "...I wish he'd pay more attention to showing me affection".

The Joker would show Harley affection but only when he was in the mood. Occasionally he would pat her head or pinch her cheek. Very rarely he would even kiss her too but the places where were varied sometimes it was the cheek, the neck or even her lips.

"If only he'd look at my more important area's" Harley grumbled. The last time she and Joker had been intimate was February and that was 2 months ago. She was aware that he was busy with work but some more intimate time wasn't too much to ask was it?

She picked up her cell phone and dialled a number then waited a couple of minutes. She didn't want to have to do this but her sex life was in need of immediate attention.

_"Hello?" _a gruff voice said from down the phone.

"Yeah Cur are you and the boys on your way home?" she said firmly.

_"Yeah...we finished up our job here and was on our way home but the boys wanna go to the bar to relax" _ Cur said nervously.

Harley smiled they had just given her an opening and she was not about to lose it "That's fine boys I mean you've been working hard and Mistah-J is REALLY busy but he could use the time off".

_"Kay Miss Quinn we appreciate this" _Cur said and hung up the phone.

Harley turned to Bud and Lou "Babies go guard the front door and make sure NOBODY gets in...capiche?!" she said firmly.

Bud and Lou grinned and then climbed off the bed to the front door obediently. Harley waited and watched them sit outside the front door. They had become smart enough to claw open the door now but she would occasionally baby them and do it herself.

Harley closed the bedroom door and locked it. She then opened her drawer and pulled out a red lingerie nightgown with black lace. A large grin appeared on her cheeks "Mistah-J won't be able to resist" she said giggling deviously.

**_In Office_**

The Joker was busy working away at another scheme. He had been kept going on Coffee and take-out that the Henchmen had bought him.

Suddenly there was a gentle nock on the door to which he sighed heavily. He was aware who it was and wasn't happy about it. The Joker put down his pen and placed his hands in front of him on the desk "Come in" he said firmly.

Harley came in nervously. She was wearing a brown trench coat and was holding the collar tightly. It was tied around the front with a material fastening.

The Joker raised an eyebrow suspiciously "Something I can do for you Harley?" he said firmly.

Harley swallowed nervously she knew he would probably punish her for this but to get his attention she was willing to push her limits "I...I just wanted to see if you'd wanna backrub" she said nervously.

The Joker raised an eyebrow. His back was aching from leaning forward all day and she did have the magic touch. He sighed heavily "Go ahead" he said firmly.

Harley smiled happily and padded over to him and began rubbing his shoulders. She hummed quietly as she did so obviously enjoying his company.

The Joker continued working and smiled to himself as she continued rubbing his back. It amused him that she was capable of treating any ailment he came across.

"You know Puddin..." she started slowly as she had to tread carefully with his moods.

"Hmm?" The Joker said scribbling away.

"...You've been working hard for days now and I'm getting worried about you" she said sweetly.

"It comes with being a Criminal mastermind Harls. You have to work hard or plans get forgotten or thrown away" he said firmly.

Harley took a deep breath "I'm sure B-Man takes a break now and again Mistah-J I mean he is human after all" she said bravely.

The Joker stopped writing and turned to look at her firmly "Harley..." he said in a dark voice.

Harley swallowed she had made him angry again. She was just trying to get him to stop working. She loved him so much but he never touched her as much anymore; was a little attention to much to ask.

The Joker grabbed her wrist "What goes on between The Batman and myself is NOT your concern" he said angrily.

Harley stared at him fearfully. She hadn't wanted it to go like this she had just wanted to coax him outta working is all.

"You are not in authority to ORDER me around you understand! NEVER!" he snapped and slapped her hard against the cheek.

Harley looked away her left cheek red and swollen. She touched it gently a tear spilling over but she didn't care.

The Joker turned to return to his desk when he heard Harley giggling. This surprised him and he turned to look at her and find out why she found something so amusing.

"The same shit about Batman..." Harley chuckled angrily.

The Joker's eyes widened she cried out of sadness yes...but seeing her angry tears was new to him "Harley?" he said curiously.

Harley glared at him her blue eyes filled with hatred and rage "It's ALWAYS Batman that's all you care about anymore! Kicking his ass and proving you're the best!" she snapped.

The Joker became cross "Listen here Harley you know that above all my taking over Gotham and killing Batman is number one on my list!" he hissed.

Harley clenched her fist "...But our relationship isn't" she whispered angrily.

The Joker raised an eyebrow "What?" he said crossly.

Harley glared at him "You ALWAYS say that Batman is more important to you but yet you fail to even recognize the ONE thing in life that is missing!" She raged.

The Joker was enraged by her outburst "What the hell are you talking about Harley our life is fine. I plot to destroy Batman and you help out by keeping the boy blunder and Brat girl distracted" He snapped.

Harley was infuriated by this "I'm MORE than just a pretty face who helps your ass out when you're in trouble!" she said bitterly.

"Oh are you now coz all you seem to do nowadays is whine and bitch about how I treat you!" The Joker taunted.

Harley walked towards him and punched him in the face causing him to stagger backwards and fall on his butt.

"WHAT THE HELL HARLEY!" The Joker fumed outraged by her disrespect for him. He became shocked by her expression as he looked up at her.

Harley was crying and her body was shaking with pure rage. Her eyes were filled with anger, hatred and sadness.

"Harley..." he said in a gentle but curious tone.

"I've ALWAYS done what you said...Fed the babies, cleaned the dishes, cooked you food, ironed your clothes. HELL I wait at home in the dark while you go off on your jobs or while you're in the office" She scowled fiercely.

The Joker was shocked by her intensity. He had never seen this side of Harley before and it was starting to scare him. The intensity in her voice was rising and her eyes looked like burning coals.

She removed her trench coat to reveal a red thigh length Lingerie nightgown with a black lace hem around the edge of the skirt and chest. Her make-up was natural and her hair was loose and tied back into a simple ponytail.

The Joker sat there taken aback by her bold attitude and sexy attire. He could feel his heart racing under his chest and the blood rushing to his groin.

"I'll leave you to your oh so precious work!" Harley snapped and stormed towards the door. Before slamming the door behind her she said "I behave well so that you'll show me more affection...But I'm tired of being a pushover for a man who doesn't even understand how LUCKY he is".

The Joker sat on the floor of his office for a few minutes still in shock from her kinky outfit and beautiful figure. The tears that had spilled had hurt him deeply he hated seeing her cry and loved her cheery smile much better.

He clenched his fists and got to his feet dusting himself off. He then sighed heavily "That girl".

**_Upstairs_**

Harley had her face buried into a pillow and was sobbing heavily her body wracking as she wept. It wasn't fair she worked so hard to make The Joker happy and all she desired in return was some affection and intimacy.

"Harley..." A firm but tender voice said from the doorway.

"Go away!" Harley snapped bitterly. She didn't want to see him as he would just force her to apologize and she had nothing to apologize for.

The Joker sighed heavily and walked towards the bed. He rummaged in the trench coat to reveal a whoopee cushion and a can of snakes. It was obvious she had put a lot of thought into this and as usual he had pushed her away.

He sat on the edge of the bed gazing down at her. It hurt him deeply to see her so upset and would do anything to see her smile once more.

Harley turned onto her side but was facing away from him her face still buried into the pillow. She was not going to apologize or beg; He always manipulated her in situations like this but today she was going to fight.

"These yours?" he said placing the Whoopee cushion and can of snakes onto the bed.

"What do you care it's not like you show interest in me anymore" Harley grumbled.

"Harley look at me" The Joker said in an demanding tone.

Harley groaned and turned towards him. Her face was tearstained and her mascara had run but she still looked beautiful in his eyes.

The Joker pulled her onto his lap cradling her in his arms "You were right..." he grumbled.

Harley's eyes widened in shock "What did you say?" she said in disbelief.

The Joker sighed crossly "I said I was WRONG" The Joker growled.

Harley couldn't believe what was happening. For one rare occasion The Joker was taking responsibility for his actions. It made her cry all over again "Mistah-J" she sniffed.

The Joker wiped her tears with his gloved hand "I don't pay enough attention to you Harley..." he admitted.

Harley gazed up at him longingly. Could this REALLY be happening it seemed too much of a dream to actually be true.

The Joker sighed heavily "Your just so pure Harls even after I tainted you and turned you into my little Harlequin you still couldn't be tainted by anything" He confessed.

"What do you mean? I'm more cunning and devious than any villainess" Harley said suspiciously.

The Joker pinched her nose playfully "No Pooh I mean even if you are a criminal you were always so optimistic and honest. You never showed me any cruelty or abuse you simply showered me with kindness" He explained.

Harley blushed "But that's coz I love you Mistah-J your the reason I became who I am without ya I'd just be another boring everyday loser" she said gently.

The Joker smiled "And I love you for it" The Joker said pulling her into a passionate kiss.

Harley was stunned for a minute by his sudden show of affection. She wrapped her right arm around his neck and closed her eyes returning his kiss.

After a few minutes The Joker pulled away and gazed at Harley's gentle innocent expression. He loved her so much but wanted to be perceived as a wicked being who was to be feared and respected.

"I want to have some fun Harls" The Joker chuckled tickling her chin.

Harley smiled "I thought you'd never ask" she said deviously.

**_a couple of minutes later_**

"Oh please do it again Puddin it feels so good!" Harley begged lustfully.

"Are you sure you want it Harls I mean you're not really begging enough" The Joker teased playfully.

"I do Mistah-J I need it BAD!" She moaned desperately.

The Joker grinned deviously "As you wish".

The Joker pressed the Whoopee cushion hard blasting air onto her clit arousing her greatly. She screamed with pleasure making him even more aroused.

"It feels so good Mistah-J" Harley cried happily.

"You want some more?" He chuckled.

"Oh yes your naughty little Harley needs more attention" she giggled.

"Oh does she? take this and this" The Joker teased blasting her with the Whoopee cushion over and over.

Harley cried out with pleasure as the strong blasts of air tickled her clit. She had missed this badly and enjoyed every second. He made her feel alive and in ecstasy ever time they were together like this.

"You know Harls daddy is about to burst can you help me feel good with your magic touch?" he said stroking her pussy.

Harley smiled "Of course I can Puddin" she said smiling mischievously.

**_Another of couple minutes later_**

"You like that Mistah-J?" Harley giggled playfully.

"Harley...your fingers...I swear you have the magic touch..Jesus!" The Joker moaned as Harley rubbed the can of snakes.

"You can cum if you want Puddin I'm gonna cum soon too" She said smiling at him.

"Harley...Harley...YEEESSSS!" The Joker cried loudly as he climaxed.

Harley shrieked with pleasure as The Joker came and the can of snakes burst everywhere.

The pair sighed heavily sweat running down their flesh and their cheeks flushed with blood.

**_afterwards_**

The Joker was laid on the bed relaxing. He was grinning widely his eyes filled with mischief "I definitely needed that Harls" The Joker said pleased.

Harley was laid on her side leaning against his chest "That was nice Puddin better than usual" she giggled playfully.

The Joker gazed at her softly. She was a beautiful woman who never failed to make his heart race or satisfy him sexually.

Harley saw him gazing at her and blushed "Something wrong Mistah-J?" she said curiously.

"You just never stop surprising me Harls" The Joker chuckled sitting up.

Harley smiled "Well that's part of my personality Puddin it makes me more exciting and unpredictable" she said mischievously.

"Yes...Yes it does" The Joker said placing one hand around her waist and tilting her chin with his hand.

"Mistah-J?" she said innocently.

"Shut up" The Joker said firmly and kissed her.

Harley was shocked by his sudden show of affection her blue eyes widening. He did kiss her but most often was on the cheek not like this.

The Joker eventually pulled away grinning "You like that pooh?" he teased.

Harley smiled "Yeah...but I want more" she giggled straddling him.

The Joker grinned "I raised such a selfish girl" he said deviously.

"Shut up and kiss me" Harley smirked and slammed her lips onto his running her fingers though his hair.

The Joker placed his arms around her back and cupped her butt with his left hand. She was so soft and warm but more than anything she was beautiful and she would always be his.


End file.
